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Malaysians are getting married at older age. Why?
Let me give an example. It is a little bit long.
example:
If you want to skip it, there is a summary at the end. Say you are a fresh graduate at that age of 23, a male, starting a carrier as an executive officer working somewhere in KL with a salary, say RM2000 per month and without any saving in the bank. Monthly, extracting your expenditures on foods, transportation (public or motorcycle), electricity, water, phone, house rent and other expenses, say you can save about RM800 the most.
Then, because you are a good son, you send some money to your parents or relatives about RM300 per month. This will give you a balance of RM500 of saving. For the first year, maybe you are very discipline with your budget, so you save about RM5000.
The next year at the age of 24, you meet a girl of your dream. Both of you plan to get married after one year or two. Ok, that's fine, it gives you time to save some more money and some more time to prepare the basic necessities for a 'happy' family? a car and a roof to live under.
That year because you are a hard worker, you get a raise of 10%. Since you are also a gentleman, you make sure some money is put aside to spend on dates and gifts for your girl, so 10% goes for her. Like the previous year, aftermuch sweat and meggie-eating months, you save another RM5000. Your company is doing ok. You are paid 2 months bonus. So, another RM4000 is added to your saving. So, your total saving now is RM14,000. You decide to spend about RM8000 on a brand-new RM40,000 car down payment. So, you net saving that year is RM6000.
The next year at the age of 25, you are doing fine at work. But because now you have to pay for car every month, your total monthly saving is cut down to about RM400. You save roughly about RM5000 that year. No bonus that year because your company is doing poor. So, your total saving in the bank is RM11,000.
Then, you decide to get engaged with your girlfriend. She said OK. So, need to buy an engagement ring. RM1500 is spent on ring plus 'hantaran pertunangan'. So, your net saving that year is RM9,500.The next year at the age of 26, you get promoted. Your salary now is 1.5 of your starting salary at the company.
Good news! You think. "Ok, this yearI will get married". You also are 'gersang' already. So, you ask your fiance "how much is the dowry(hantaran)? " She say, "berapa-berapa yang u sanggup". You ask,"RM5000 ok?". She replies, "I okay je. Tapi my mom tu. Dia kata grad oversea macam I ni mane boleh letak rendah-rendah. Paling kurang RM10,000 tau!". Your eyes 'terjegil', your tounge 'meleleh' and you faint on the spot. "Where else in the world can I get extra money?", you say to yourself.
But, because you are very determined to get married with your dream girl and in the name of love, you work really really hard that year until you are awarded "The Best Employee of The Year". You get 3 months of bonus. You also do some side business to supply ayam pencen. So, roughly your net saving at the end of that year is RM20,000.
Ok, now you are 27 years old with enough saving inthe bank to pay for thedowry. But then, come your mom saying, "Anak mak nak kawin ni mesti la buat grand grand. Kita sewa khemah besar-besar, jemput penyanyi ke artis ke sorang dua datang buat persembahan. Lauk pauk kita cater aje la ya? RM10 je sekepala. Baju kawin ko, kita sewa yg cantik-cantik dan mahal-mahal sket. Kita jemput dalam 1000 orang datang ok?" You did a quickin-the-head-calculation," 1000xRM10=RM10,000, penyanyi lagi, khemah lagi, buta-buta je RM15,000!!! Tu tak masuk cincin kahwin lagi!!"You say,"Mak, nak buat apa membazir-bazir duit ni?" Your mom replies, "Apa pulak membazirnya? Kau kawin sekali je seumur hidup. Biarlah buat betul-betul."You insist,"Tapi mak?" Your mom says, "Dahlah, kau jangan nak buat malu mak. Cik Tipah jiran kita tu buat kenduri kat hotel siap dato, datin, tan sri, puan sri lagi datang. Mana la mak nak letak muka kalau buat kenduri kecik kecik?".
Anyway, you finally get married. But, a beautiful happy life after marriage that you dream of with your wife does not last long. You have debts around your waist, interest gets higher every month, cannot afford to pay them, you wife gets tired of you asking money from her, she accuses you of being irresponsible husband for not being a good provider, blah blah blah? At the end, you two go into separate ways? You get divorced.
Problem breeds problem?Sometimes we wonder why marriage institution is failing in our country. The above example may not represent the whole phenomena in our culture, but perhaps it gives us some ideas of the problems young couple these days are facing in getting married!
Malaysians are getting married at older age. Why?
Let me give an example. It is a little bit long.
example:
If you want to skip it, there is a summary at the end. Say you are a fresh graduate at that age of 23, a male, starting a carrier as an executive officer working somewhere in KL with a salary, say RM2000 per month and without any saving in the bank. Monthly, extracting your expenditures on foods, transportation (public or motorcycle), electricity, water, phone, house rent and other expenses, say you can save about RM800 the most.
Then, because you are a good son, you send some money to your parents or relatives about RM300 per month. This will give you a balance of RM500 of saving. For the first year, maybe you are very discipline with your budget, so you save about RM5000.
The next year at the age of 24, you meet a girl of your dream. Both of you plan to get married after one year or two. Ok, that's fine, it gives you time to save some more money and some more time to prepare the basic necessities for a 'happy' family? a car and a roof to live under.
That year because you are a hard worker, you get a raise of 10%. Since you are also a gentleman, you make sure some money is put aside to spend on dates and gifts for your girl, so 10% goes for her. Like the previous year, aftermuch sweat and meggie-eating months, you save another RM5000. Your company is doing ok. You are paid 2 months bonus. So, another RM4000 is added to your saving. So, your total saving now is RM14,000. You decide to spend about RM8000 on a brand-new RM40,000 car down payment. So, you net saving that year is RM6000.
The next year at the age of 25, you are doing fine at work. But because now you have to pay for car every month, your total monthly saving is cut down to about RM400. You save roughly about RM5000 that year. No bonus that year because your company is doing poor. So, your total saving in the bank is RM11,000.
Then, you decide to get engaged with your girlfriend. She said OK. So, need to buy an engagement ring. RM1500 is spent on ring plus 'hantaran pertunangan'. So, your net saving that year is RM9,500.The next year at the age of 26, you get promoted. Your salary now is 1.5 of your starting salary at the company.
Good news! You think. "Ok, this yearI will get married". You also are 'gersang' already. So, you ask your fiance "how much is the dowry(hantaran)? " She say, "berapa-berapa yang u sanggup". You ask,"RM5000 ok?". She replies, "I okay je. Tapi my mom tu. Dia kata grad oversea macam I ni mane boleh letak rendah-rendah. Paling kurang RM10,000 tau!". Your eyes 'terjegil', your tounge 'meleleh' and you faint on the spot. "Where else in the world can I get extra money?", you say to yourself.
But, because you are very determined to get married with your dream girl and in the name of love, you work really really hard that year until you are awarded "The Best Employee of The Year". You get 3 months of bonus. You also do some side business to supply ayam pencen. So, roughly your net saving at the end of that year is RM20,000.
Ok, now you are 27 years old with enough saving inthe bank to pay for thedowry. But then, come your mom saying, "Anak mak nak kawin ni mesti la buat grand grand. Kita sewa khemah besar-besar, jemput penyanyi ke artis ke sorang dua datang buat persembahan. Lauk pauk kita cater aje la ya? RM10 je sekepala. Baju kawin ko, kita sewa yg cantik-cantik dan mahal-mahal sket. Kita jemput dalam 1000 orang datang ok?" You did a quickin-the-head-calculation," 1000xRM10=RM10,000, penyanyi lagi, khemah lagi, buta-buta je RM15,000!!! Tu tak masuk cincin kahwin lagi!!"You say,"Mak, nak buat apa membazir-bazir duit ni?" Your mom replies, "Apa pulak membazirnya? Kau kawin sekali je seumur hidup. Biarlah buat betul-betul."You insist,"Tapi mak?" Your mom says, "Dahlah, kau jangan nak buat malu mak. Cik Tipah jiran kita tu buat kenduri kat hotel siap dato, datin, tan sri, puan sri lagi datang. Mana la mak nak letak muka kalau buat kenduri kecik kecik?".
Anyway, you finally get married. But, a beautiful happy life after marriage that you dream of with your wife does not last long. You have debts around your waist, interest gets higher every month, cannot afford to pay them, you wife gets tired of you asking money from her, she accuses you of being irresponsible husband for not being a good provider, blah blah blah? At the end, you two go into separate ways? You get divorced.
Problem breeds problem?Sometimes we wonder why marriage institution is failing in our country. The above example may not represent the whole phenomena in our culture, but perhaps it gives us some ideas of the problems young couple these days are facing in getting married!
posted by Own at 7/24/2006 02:49:00 PM
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